The Editor's story

09.08.2010

Fr Gary Walker is the Editor of The Far East. This is his vocation story.

Our family was a typical Catholic family. I was the youngest of three children, the only son. We lived in Brisbane. We went to the local Catholic primary school and attended Sunday Mass. Our family was not involved in parish affairs but we considered ourselves good Catholics. My father was not Catholic but drove us to church on Sunday and waited for us.

Like many young boys I enjoyed the adventure stories of missionaries. I would often bring home books from the library about missionaries and my father enjoyed them as much as I did. The Brothers planted a seed of vocation in me, the idea of giving my whole life to God appealed to me.

At some stage, I was always an avid reader, I became interested in the stories of people who searched for God, or whose lives were changed through God’s intervention. These were the lives of the saints. I enjoyed their search for God or was it God’s search for them? Their struggle to find the way, the resolution, and most importantly coming to know God. St Paul and Dom Bede Griffith osb spring to mind as examples.

When I left school I had no clear idea of what to do, I drifted through several boring jobs concentrating on surfing at the weekend and practicing judo on week nights; judo was the love of my life at that time.

I used to drop in and talk to a girl who worked in the Catholic Missions office at St Stephen’s Cathedral in Brisbane and after she left, I continued to drop in and talk to Fr Owen Oxenham who was the Director of Catholic Missions. He encouraged me go to the seminary since I told him I was interested in God and the seminary seemed the best place to go.

I told him I thought I would like to be a missionary if I was to be a priest; he told me that being a priest was the important thing, being a missionary was a decision I could make later.
I went to the Pius XII diocesan seminary at Banyo in Brisbane in 1965 and it wasn’t long before I knew I was in the wrong place to make a decision about becoming a priest. As I reflect on my confused thoughts then, I think I understood that the diocesan seminary trained priests to run all aspects of a parish. I did not really know what I wanted, but my aspirations were somehow for wider horizons.

By coincidence, or was it the hand of God, a former Columban seminarian arrived at Banyo seminary when I knew I had to move on. He told me about the St Columban’s Missionary Society and I applied to the Columbans with the permission and help of the rector at Banyo.

When I had been at the Columban seminary in Sydney for a few months, I thought it had the ‘right fit’ for me. What impressed me about the Columbans was their commitment to hospitality. It isn’t a law or a rule but comes from the generosity of our hearts.

What I remember most about my ordination in 1972 and ever since, was the tremendous respect that Catholic people have for the priesthood. We priests have something to live up to.

I was appointed to Fiji and went to a parish on an outlying island before I had learned the language. I was out of my depth and found it difficult - the people needed an experienced missionary not a young lad like myself. I learned weakness there, personal inadequacy, a sense of failure, something I had not experienced before.

Many years later I read a book by Fr Thomas Groom (I think) in which he asked an old priest what he thought was the most important thing for a young priest. After some thought the old priest said, ‘To have his heart broken.’ It was a strange thing to say but I understand the truth of his words. People need to know, I think, that priests also have to struggle with themselves and life in general.

I came to understand that God was challenging me to understand what had happened. I needed to experience my own human weakness for the sake of the people I served and know my need of God in my life.

I returned to Australia and was appointed to a parish in Brisbane working for the Archdiocese. I discovered that the parish priest was hard on assistant priests and the diocese had stopped sending their own priests there. I went from the frying pan into the fire!

One night I sat on the bed, troubled by this new situation. I suddenly realised that I could resign from being a priest if it was going to be such trouble. I was shocked by this new thought but I knew that I would not continue in the priestly ministry if life was going to be this difficult.

Then in my mind and heart, the thought or was it a voice said to me, ‘The priesthood is a gift, not a partnership.’

This incident had a profound effect on me and I have never doubted since then that the priesthood was a gift to me. I always thought that I was the seeker but I know now that God was/is the seeker, sorting me out.

When I left the parish I worked in the formation of students for the missionary priesthood for three years. As that job was drawing to a close I thought that I would return to Fiji.
From out of the blue I was asked by the Regional Director if I was interested in being part of a team in a new mission in Jamaica.

I said ‘yes’ and found myself in the diocese of Montego Bay. A Jamaican priest told me it would take six years for the people to accept me and he was right. In that sixth year as things started to open up I had to leave. Surprisingly, I was elected to the Columban General Council for a six year term.

Six years in Dublin, Ireland, on the General Council was a good experience. This was followed by an appointment as Editor of The Far East magazine in Essendon.

The following quote by Marie Louise Haskins from ‘The Gate of the Year’ sums up my life: I said to the man at the Gate of the Year. “Give me a light to tread safely in the darkness.” He replied, “Put your hand into the hand of God, that shall be to you better than a light and safer than a known way.”

Fr Gary Walker SSC editor of The Far East.

Read more from The Far East, August 2010