Reflection - Try a Little Tenderness
01.01.2008
Sometimes the advertisement gets it right. Not in the way the designer had it in mind, focussed on promoting the product, but their words open to a deeper reality. A catch phrase can hold our attention in a way wholly unexpected by the advertising department and having nothing to do with what they are promoting; shafts of meaning can illuminate a moment, a day, or maybe a new year.
For instance, that sugary, sentimental little jingle, "Try a little tenderness." A soft focus soothing little ad, to make us feel pampered as we indulge in our chocolate.
But suppose we move from the chocolate and look at the quality of tenderness, or lack of it, in our lives today. Given the times we live in, when achievement, competitiveness and toughness are emphasised the idea of tenderness is almost embarrassing. What a fool I'd be! A hard-edged culture thrives on demeaning others, on grabbing the best chance for myself, regardless of the cost in terms of human relationships. In a recent radio programme people spoke of the pain they still felt, decades on, from sarcastic comments by their teachers. And see how the TV ratings climb as participants are discredited on various programmes. Do we secretly enjoy this?
Has this harshness crept into our own souls? Has there been a gradual, imperceptible corrosion of our heart; a coldness that stultifies any real growth, that kills any bud of compassion before it can open? Has the unkindness, the bitterness, the indifference we meet within our workplace, our neighbourhood, even, maybe, in our family, now become part of ourselves? The movement is so insidious that we are in danger of being unaware of what is happening until it is almost too late.
How we need the Spirit to help us to be alert to what is happening, to read the signs of the times and the signs of in our own hearts! And, most of all, to touch into and be changed by the loving tenderness of God whose gentleness makes us great. We can trust in his promise: "I shall give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you, I shall remove the heart of stone from your body and give you a heart of flesh" (Ez 36:26). He will give us again that openness of spirit, that childlike joy and enthusiasm, these signs of his presence with us.
A change of heart is at the centre of the Gospel. "Be generous to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you" (Eph 4:32). Impossible without the grace of the Holy Spirit who will help us in our efforts. This is the work, not of a New Year's resolution, but of a lifetime.
So, as we pray in this New Year let us "Try a little tenderness."
Sister Redempta Twomey is a Columban Sister who lives in Ireland.
