My Chinese parents
20.07.2009
Alito describes his relationship with his Chinese 'parents' during his home stay period during his two year overseas exposure program in Wuhan.
I lived with a local Catholic family in Wuhan for one month during my First Mission Assignment (FMA) in China after six months of studying Mandarin.
My foster parents were already in their old age. My foster mother is a retired medical doctor. I am not sure of my foster father's previous occupation although we called him 'laoshi' (teacher). Their three children, all boys, were already married. Each of them lived in another flat with their families. They rarely seemed to visit their parents so I could see how happy the couple were when I was with them.
They even considered me as their fourth son.
Deng Yisheng, Doctor Deng, my foster mother, is an extrovert. She can talk for hours. I always felt tired each time we had a chat. She could only speak a few words in English and my Chinese was insufficient for long conversations. Zhao Laoshi, on the other hand, was reserved, he seldom talked. Perhaps this was his way of dealing with his exceptionally talkative wife?
He also refrained from showing his emotions.
My 'mother' would regularly inform me of her appreciation of me. She would say that I was far more thoughtful and understanding than her husband and children because of my willingness to be with her and listen to her stories. It seemed my 'father' avoided doing such things.
He told me once, when I cooked the evening meal that the food I prepared was not delicious. On one occasion, he described derogatorily the situation of my country, the Philippines, to his friends in my presence.
A few days before I finished my FMA, Zhao Laoshi was diagnosed with cancer. He looked relaxed when I visited him in the hospital. He seemed not frightened by his serious condition. Deng Yisheng was the one who was worried. She told me how anxious she was that if Zhao Laoshi died he might not go to heaven because he was just baptized. She added that she was not sure if he had a real conversion to God.
Zhao Laoshi came home shortly after that. He asked me when I would be coming back to China? I answered 2012, after serving in my local parish in the Philippines. He said, "We won't see each other again, then." I replied to him jokingly, "Bu pa, women zai tiansherig jianmian." (Don't worry; we will still meet each other in heaven).
Before I left, I embraced them, first my 'mother,' then my 'father.' Suddenly, when he felt my arms around him, he cried like a child. He said he would miss me very much.
I was touched by his gestures of fatherly love. That was the first and the last day I ever saw him like that. He died shortly afterwards.
Alito B. De Los Santos is a Columban student from the Philippines now studying at the International Theologate in Chicago.
