My Chinese Parents

I lived with a local Catholic family for one month during my First Mission Assignment (FMA) in China. It took place after six months of studying Mandarin.

My foster parents are already in their old age. My foster mother is a retired medical doctor. I am not sure of my foster father's previous occupation although we call him ‘laoshi’ (teacher). Their three children, all boys, were already married. Each of them lives in another flat with their families. They rarely seemed to visit their parents so I could see how happy the couple were when I was with them. They even considered me as their fourth son. After my home-stay, I continued to visit them regularly.

Deng Yisheng, Doctor Deng, my foster mother, is extrovert. She can talk for hours. I always felt tired each time we had a chat. She could only speak a few words in English and my Chinese was insufficient for long conversations. Zhao Laoshi, on the other hand, was reserved, he seldom talked. Perhaps this was his way of dealing with his exceptionally talkative wife. He also seemed to refrain from showing his emotions to others.

My ‘mother' would regularly inform me of her appreciation of me. She would often compare me with others. She would say that I was far more thoughtful and understanding than her husband and children because of my willingness to be with her and listen to her stories. It seemed my `father' avoided doing such things. He told me once, when I cooked the evening meal that the food I prepared was not delicious. On one occasion, he described derogatorily the situation of my country, the Philippines, to his friends while I was around.

A few days before I finished my FMA, Zhao Laoshi was diagnosed with cancer. He looked so relaxed though when I visited him in the hospital. He seemed not frightened by his serious condition. It was Deng Yisheng who was worried. She told me how anxious she was that if Zhao Laoshi died he might not go to heaven because he was just baptized. She added that she was not sure if he had a real conversion to God.

Her husband came back home shortly after that. Deng Yisheng confided her worries to me repeatedly. Zhao Laoshi could hear everything. I wanted to stop her from doing that because I felt it could affect her husband emotionally and psychologically.

Zhao Laoshi asked me when I would be coming back to China. I answered 2012, after serving in my local parish in the Philippines. He said, "We won't see each other again, then." I replied to him jokingly, "Bu pa, women zai tiansherig jianmian." (Don't worry; we will still meet each other in heaven).

Before I left, I embraced them, first my `mother', then my `father'. Suddenly, when he felt my arms around him, he cried like a child. He sobbed. He said he would miss me much. I was so touched by his gestures of fatherly love. That was the first and the last day I ever saw him like that. He died shortly afterwards.

Alito B. De Los Santos is a Columban student from the Philippines. He describes his relationship with his Chinese `parents' during his home stay period while doing his two years overseas exposure program in Wuhan.