One of the ironies of life is that it is much easier to give love than to receive it. We can be very generous in helping others and extremely ungracious when they offer to help us.
Why are we so reluctant to accept another’s love? To some extent it is because we are more in control when we are doing the loving and more vulnerable when we are accepting love from others. I also suspect that often we don’t really believe that we are all that loveable. How could they love us, especially if they knew us as we really are?
Recently I have done a number of weddings and the most popular reading chosen by the young couples is from Paul’s First letter to the Corinthians Chapter 13, Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, boastful, conceited, rude or selfish... It’s inspirational to watch the young couples commit themselves to love like that. It’s beautiful and something we all aspire to.
But an important lesson I have learnt in life is that we all need to receive love to be able to love in a healthy and lasting way. If we really want to love one another, then the challenge is not just to busy ourselves about loving the other because we may end up getting lost in your own efforts and come to resent our sacrifices.
Naturally we must be full of compassion, kindness, humility and patience but remember also to stop still occasionally and to let your our friends love us. It is a great thing to love. It is perhaps an even greater and more beautiful thing to be loved. When we believe that someone loves us our minds and hearts expand, our pettiness is transcended, our cynicism dries up and our insecurity is loved away. They release the lover in us.
We most resemble God when we are busy setting fire to each other's hearts. When we are awake to our own beauty, then we can open the sleeping beauty in the other. Our God is a Trinity of persons who both give and receive love freely and generously.
Fr Noel Connolly SSC
director@columban.org.au