In the last year of her life St Therese of Lisieux corresponded regularly with a young man, Maurice Belliere, who hoped to become a missionary priest in Africa. Full of zeal and idealism he nonetheless got into ‘a deplorable predicament’ during his compulsory military service. The high ideals of the seminary faded as he followed others into ways he later regretted. Writing to Therese, who was gravely ill, he said, "I’m afraid that Jesus will tell you all the grief I’ve caused him, all my wretchedness and I get frightened that your tenderness may cool. If you knew how wretched I am."
But Therese, who loved him like a brother though they had never met, replied, "It must be that you don’t know me at all well if you are afraid that a detailed account of your faults could lessen the tenderness that I feel for you." She assures him that Jesus has forgotten his infidelities and he should follow that first impulse which draws him into the arms of the Lord. "That is where you belong."
Like that young man, we too can be afraid that if our friends knew what we are really like, they would reject us in disgust. Our relationship with God grows cold because we think our sins will drive Him away. We fear His anger, however justifiable we believe it to be. Many people have given up going to church because of something wrong in their lives. "God has no time for the likes of me," they say ruefully, often with regret. They cannot conceive that God’s love for them is far greater than whatever it is that holds them back.
Others feel it more honest to give up religion because it would be hypocritical of them to go to church.
They are too honest, they say, and have chosen a nobler, humbler course. They try to lead upright lives, cut off from the grace of the sacraments.
We need to grow in our understanding of God and believe, like Therese, that the great tenderness of God for us is unending, always reaching out, always longing for us to turn to him and trust his yearning love. He is all forgiveness. Just read the story of the prodigal son in Luke Ch 15 or the woman taken in adultery in John Ch 8 or any of the many stories in the Gospel which are there for us.
Let us ponder these stories and turn again and be healed. The wonderful sacrament of reconciliation is there for us. Throw yourself into the arms of this most loving Lord and you will discover that, as Therese told Maurice, "That is where you belong."
Sister Redempta Twomey is a Columban Sister living in Ireland.