We are gifts to one another

We all have gifts and through these gifts we are gifts to one another.

When I was chaplain at Nazareth House, North Turramurra, New South Wales, we used to take the people from the nursing home to Bobbin Head for afternoon tea. Some mothers with toddlers were present at the same time. One particular lady in our group, Dulcie, who normally showed little sign of interest in things, would beckon one of these toddlers to come to her.

Her face would light up with a beautiful smile.

I think it's good for us to associate with people of all ages: babies, toddlers, children, youth and adults. Young people are good for us and we are good for them. A friend of mine, Stan Stewart, a youth worker in the Uniting Church was so convinced that elderly people can have a good influence on youth that he carried out his apostolate to youth through elderly people.

Stan and his wife Pauline were both musical and one thing they did was produce religious musicals in which 8-year-olds and 80-year-olds sang.

I must confess that I have been pessimistic about influencing young people myself and I went from this to being pessimistic in general about elderly people influencing young people. However as I shared Stan's conviction with others, I heard many examples to support it.

One woman told me her story. "My four sisters and I had never known our grandparents. However in our lives until she died at the age of 87, was a special person who probably had as much influence on each of us as all four grandparents together, might have had."

"This special person was Aunty Kit, my grandmother's younger sister. The five of us became like grandchildren to Aunty Kit (she had no children of her own). We loved her. We were always welcome at her home either on our own or with friends. She had a wonderful ability to make us feel that she was always glad to spend time with us and that what we said was important to her.

She was a gifted musician and instilled in us a love of music. So much so that my elder sister is now a music teacher and each of the five of us plays at least one musical instrument. The highlight of the school holidays was to pack a small bag and go and stay with Aunty Kit for a few days even though it was only five minutes walk from home.

The greatest thing that Aunty Kit did for any of us was ‘being there' with warmth, understanding, affection, and importantly, time. We didn't always agree, particularly as we got older. But she was never judgemental. She never told us what she thought we should do, as did so many adults at the time.

Instead she allowed us to express our thoughts and opinions freely, then by expressing her own, she often gave us the chance to look at things from an entirely different perspective. She was the greatest influence on our faith development as children just by being who and what she was. Every child should have an Aunty Kit in their lives."

In being gifts to others we find ourselves. In seeking their happiness we find our own.

Fr Gorman is 87-years-old and living in retirement at St Columban's, Essendon. He worked as a missionary in Japan.

Read Fr Keith Gorman's other Reflections