On the day after 9/11, 2011 a priest, Msgr. Jim Lisante, was on the panel of a live television broadcast in a studio near ground zero called together to discuss the moral ramifications of the terrorist attacks. A previous speaker had just cited the Old Testament text calling for “an eye for an eye.” When he was asked what the Catholic tradition taught the priest looked right into the camera and said, “Forgiveness.” In the climate of fear and rage at the time this was a statement of great courage. It was also the truth. (America, Feb. 2011).
Forgiveness is costly. It calls for honesty, for an awareness and acceptance of our own humanity, of our frailty. “Who can detect his own failings? Wash out my hidden faults” (Ps 19). To know that we are sinners will make us less ready to sit in judgement on another. “Who will be the first to throw a stone?” (Jn 8). I throw it when I refuse to forgive.
Jesus returns again and again to the necessity of forgiveness. Forget your prayers, your fasting, your devotions – if you do not forgive your heart will not be at peace. People were shocked by the extent and inclusiveness of His forgiveness. How many times should we forgive, Peter wanted to know. A magnanimous seven? There was to be no limit. And no one was beyond the mercy of God; no crime, however heinous is greater than his mercy.
“The foremost spiritual task of the second half of life is to forgive – others, ourselves, life, God,” Fr Ronald Rolheiser wrote. “We all arrive at mid-life wounded and not having exactly the life of which we dreamed. There’s a disappointment and anger inside every one of us and, unless we find it in ourselves to forgive, we will be bitter, unready for the heavenly banquet.”
How sad it is to meet an elderly person who cannot let go of old hurts. A needle of resentment gets stuck in the record of their lives and keeps on churning out the same old story. Someone hurt or betrayed them, did them a grave injury, maybe thirty or more years ago, and every bitter detail is retold again and again. Often these are people who gave great service to their family, their parish, their work colleagues. But how seldom they tell of the good things that befell them, the blessings that came their way. Resentment has blinded them.
“What I refuse to forgive continues to harm me. It consumes my heart, poisons my mind, drains my energies and cements my soul. The anger, the hurt, the bitterness we carry from the past does little or nothing to harm the one who harmed us. It harms only us. It is acid poured on our souls, eating away at the peace in us.” (Joan Chittister). When we hold on to past injuries our hearts turn into a hard sclerotic mass, unhealed and unaccepted.
Forgiveness sees clearly the wrong done, does not condone it or brush it away, but makes the choice to let go the resentment, the ‘I’ll get you for that’ attitude that stymies the blessings in us. This is not easy but we can be sure the Lord will help us to do what seems almost impossible. We can begin by forgiving ourselves our own blindness, hard-heartedness, failures. We must be a Good Samaritan to our own bruised selves and turn to God in gratitude for the blessings in our life. The more deeply we experience God’s goodness to us each day, the more ready we are to be like Jesus and forgive and forgive and forgive.
Sr Redempta Twomey SSC is Assistant Editor of the Far East at St Columban’s, Navan, Ireland.
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