All alone at 105

Noel Mackey's mother-in-law in a nursing home in Seoul, Korea. Photo: Noel Mackey

Noel Mackey's mother-in-law in a nursing home in Seoul, Korea. Photo: Noel Mackey

My wife Kyung Hee and I had made plans to take her 105-year-old mother out for a special meal to celebrate the Lunar New Year on January 25. Our plans were shattered when on January 23 we received a text message from the nursing home saying they were under lockdown and for the foreseeable future no one was allowed out of or in to the facility. It was our first indication that the situation was precarious. Now some months later we wonder how Kyung Hee’s mother is faring and when we will be able to see her again. She is rather feeble, almost totally blind and very hard of hearing.

Right now, all schools, universities, libraries and museums are closed. Many planned public events have been cancelled and people are advised to avoid large group meetings. For the first time in the history of the Catholic Church, all Masses have been cancelled. Life is rather grim with people having to live a confined lifestyle. We are afraid to go to the cinema, to large department stores and being advised to refrain from attending weddings or funerals. Most people are either buying on line or shopping and eating locally. Every time we use public transport, we hear announcements warning us of the necessity of wearing face masks. Restaurants, buses and our apartment elevator supply us with hand sanitizers.

With the schools closed parents are at their wits' end trying to take care of their children. Normally they would send them to cram schools during vacation time but they cannot do that now as they too are all closed. The richer people can find some alternative way to keep their children occupied by employing a private teacher but poor parents cannot afford to do that.

At the start of the outbreak of the coronavirus, adults and young students continued with their private classes. As the number of those infected grew, people became more cautious and right now five of my seven students have cancelled classes indefinitely. I found it rather ironical that one young girl who has a distinct abhorrence for school and study in general is now bemoaning the fact that her school is closed. She is feeling lonely being at home all day and misses meeting her school friends.

In the neighborhood where we live in a satellite city of Seoul life continues as people struggle to deal with the coronavirus as best they can. Almost everyone wears a face mask and those that don’t are frowned upon. The biggest change I have noticed is the long queues outside pharmacies and the shops each morning as people try to purchase face masks.

The Government has been forced to control the manufacturing and distribution of face masks in order to avoid speculators hoarding them and selling them at an exorbitant price. Each citizen has been limited to receiving two face masks per week.

The local gym that I attend suddenly ruled that face masks were compulsory and advised us to wear warm clothing as the heat was being turned down. I have decided to skip the Pilates class as there can be up to thirty people in a rather confined space for it.

The convenience stores and small restaurants appear to be doing a better trade as people are reluctant to go to the big department stores and large restaurants where they fear they might contact the dreaded coronavirus. While people are taking all the precautions necessary there has been no panic buying or people living in fear.

A string of Spring Festivals as well as concerts and theatrical performances have all been cancelled. While cinemas are still showing movies very few people are taking the risk of attending as social distancing is being emphasized as essential in the fight or, as the President calls it, the war against this virus.

People are expressing anger at the members of the Shincheonji religious sect as some 60% of those confirmed to have the virus are linked to that church. The members have been less than cooperative with the health authorities with some of them in hiding refusing to answer their telephones while others have been rather economical with the truth, denying membership and telling deliberate lies.

I have managed to remain half-sane thanks to my gym staying open which allows me to exercise every day. Of late, I have also been able to stay occupied with some translation work, which also helps me take my mind off the situation.

My greatest worry is for my mother-in-law. I used to visit her every day to talk with her and help her do some basic exercise in an attempt to keep her from becoming immobile. I fear that she may become depressed with the lack of contact with her family.

She is probably wondering why we are not taking her out for her favourite meal of marinated beef.

Prior to publication Noel Mackey sent this update:

"It is now ten weeks since we last saw Kyung Hee's mother. Speaking to her on the phone a few days ago was heart-rending as she kept saying how she wanted to see us and asking us to come to visit her. We just could not get her to understand why we could not, even though we dearly wished to see her. Our worst fear now is that she might slip away without any of her family being beside her."

Noel Mackey is a former Columban and a resident of Seoul, Korea.

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