Columban Fr Ji Kwang-kyu is the Vice-Rector of the International Formation Program, Philippines. Photo: St Columbans Mission Society
I grew up in a family that didn’t practice religion. When I was young, I thought there was no God. I am not proud to admit it, but I used to say negative things about religion because I was filled with anger. Yet, I stand before you now as a missionary priest dedicated to spreading the word of God.
One day, when I was young, one of my best friends asked me, “Would you like to go to Church with me?” I had no idea what “Church” was, but I said “yes” because I knew him to be a good person, kind and full of integrity. The first time I attended mass, I did not understand what was being said. I also did not like it when the presider kept telling us to sit down and stand up. I wanted to be seated until the end of the mass. Another time, my friend asked me, “Do you want to be baptized?” Again, I had no idea what being “baptized” meant or what the catechism was. Nonetheless, I was baptized when I was 15. I don’t know why I did not say no. I think God led me into His path little by little. For some reason, I just followed Him, and now I am sure God called me through my friend.
In the Gospels we are told that when Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist he was with a vast crowd and his heart was moved with pity for them. He was with his beloved people and didn’t conceal his feelings. However, he did not indulge in mere sentiment. Instead, he acted: he cured the sick and performed miracles. I still remember what Pope Francis said when he visited Manila and met two children who used to live on the streets in Luneta Park. One of them asked the Pope, “Many children are abandoned by their parents. Many children are into prostitution. Why does God allow such things to happen?” I remember Pope Francis answering, “Only when we too can cry about the things that you said are we close to replying to that question.”
During my formation to become a Columban priest, I met many good formators. They taught me not to ignore my feelings or to be enslaved by them. They advised me to “Feel it. Reflect on it. Listen to what God is trying to say to you. You can find answers when you are with God and God’s people in your area.” It is not easy to do this. In fact, sometimes we are tempted not to look into our feelings at all. However, I believe we need to do that. I believe God is always wanting to tell us something through our feelings. And so, I say, “Feel it, reflect on it, and be with God.”
Columban Fr Ji Kwang-kyu is the Vice-Rector of the International Formation Program, Philippines.
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