Angie (far right) with fellow lay missionary Sherryl Lou Capili standing beside her, Columban Fr Sean Coyle (centre) and Sherryl Lou’s brother and sister-in-law (left) during a mission appeal at St Charles Borromeo in Leixlip, Ireland. - Photo: Angelica Escarsa
When visiting the sick, I often find myself listening to people who have known serious setbacks in life. Some continue to put their trust in God despite the setbacks. Others have lost their faith but are seeking a way to open themselves, once again, to God. With an inner confidence, I offer prayers for them, believing in my heart that God will always be with them, as He has been with me every step of the way.
As a person of faith and a Columban Missionary, I reflect on my own relationship with God and ask myself: Who is God for me? What are my images of God? Do I love God? How do I communicate with God? How do I nurture my relationship with God?
Pondering these questions leads me back to the very first moment of God’s presence in my life. I can trace it back to the genesis of my existence in the world. In Jeremiah 1:5, it is written, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” These extraordinary words tell me that my relationship with God began before I was even conceived.
I did not know God then, but He knew me and always loved me. The fact that I was given the gift of life, given also the opportunity to live in this world, is for me, as a person of faith, evidence of God’s generous, unconditional love. Through the gift of my baptism, I was brought into the Christian life and family when, as a baby, Fr Sean Anthony Dunne, a Columban priest from Ireland, administered that special sacrament.
Through my parents - who awakened me to God’s love and mercy - this relationship started to grow and become two-way. As I gradually grew in understanding that God was not the only one working for this relationship, I began to seek God more.
Growing up, my father, though not very religious, told me that God is up in heaven and could see everything. Therefore, I should always do good, otherwise God would not be happy with me. That is when I realised God is always there, even if I do not see Him.
In our house, we had different images of Jesus, like Christ the King, The Face of Jesus, The Eye and the Crucifix. When I asked my mother who they were, she would say God. In my innocence, I asked her why God had so many faces.
God surrounds us and He gives us the gift of wonder and awe in His presence. This then became the very foundation of what I describe as my covenant with God. I understood that words and images would never be able to capture the face of God. I realised God is beyond imagining, that our naked eye cannot grasp and our mind cannot fathom the abundant love and mercy He has for us. This is the great mystery of faith that keeps me humble and vulnerable before Him. I am reminded of Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew when he asked Simon Peter, “Who do you say I am?” (Matt. 16:13–20).
My understanding of God is fundamental to how I articulate my relationship with Him. God for me is my creator, the giver of life, my destiny, my strength, my stronghold, my refuge, my saviour, my friend, my consoler and my protector. This understanding of God has been influenced by the people around me. I experience God’s presence through His people. My parents' understanding, for example, of God as the divine source of all life helped me see God as the beginning and the end of everything: “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End” (Rev 22:13).
This theology evolved and so did my relationship with God, guided by my religion teacher, who introduced me to reading the Bible and Fr Paddy Duggan, our parish priest in Immaculate Conception in Barretto, the Philippines, where I grew up.
My faith continued to be nurtured during my five years of preparation at the Columban College Catechetical Centre, founded by Columban Sister, Sr Maura Dillon. This preparation enabled me to become a Religious and Values Education teacher and through that experience, I gained more opportunities to grasp the immense and wonderful plan of God in my life.
My missionary journey has deepened my relationship with God, making it more intimate and personal. I joined the Columban Mission at the age of twenty-four, which gave me a new meaning and purpose in life. There were moments of searching and seeking God’s assurance that I was truly following the right path. So, it became “Me and My God” and his grand scheme for me. Those were the times when my friends and colleagues began settling down, starting families, getting new jobs and enjoying life with their loved ones and friends around them, while I was a thousand miles away from home. However, through the path I have followed, God has become my home and my refuge, the One who is with me till the end of time.
God has also allowed me to realise that life on earth offers only a glimpse of life with Him for all eternity in heaven. The death of family members during my time as a missionary, when I lived far from home, was hard to bear. But when grief was my only prayer, God became my comfort and solace.
In the various circumstances of my life, God has revealed Himself to me. With great trust in His plan, I embrace the life He has asked me to live.
Columban lay missionary Angelica Escarsa lives and works in Ireland.
Listen to "A covenant with god"
Related links
- Read more from The Far East - March/April 2026
