The path of patience and joy

Columban lay missionary Febie Gonzales.

I write in memory of Bart (not his real name), a student I once cared for who had epilepsy and struggled to speak. He needed help with eating and drinking and had to wear a bib because of excessive saliva. Yet he was playful, happy and joyful.

Every day, he would arrive at the centre where I worked, backpack on his back and with the handles of a plastic bag, filled with biscuits and sweets, looped around his wrist. He would settle into his chair like a king, contentedly playing with his plastic bag. No one dared to make him stand up because once he did, it marked the start of an eventful day.

At mealtimes, we had to feed him separately because otherwise he would roam around and grab his classmates’ food. He was no problem when he sat quietly, but once he started running around, I had to run after him. Around three o’clock in the afternoon, an hour before going home, he would become very restless and excited, looking for bread. He often got inside the office to grab something to eat before going home.

His energy and joy could not be contained. He would fall to the ground, lie there playing and then get up to run again. One time, while I was trying to stop him from running, we accidentally fell over. Luckily, neither of us was injured. There was also a time when I tried to give him water and he spat at me and threw away the plastic cup I was holding. With mixed feelings, I cried and asked myself why I was dealing with such a person. I even felt that I didn’t want to look after him anymore.

However, he also showed kindness. One day, when he saw me standing while feeding one of his classmates, he came over, picked up a chair and offered it to me. This simple gesture amazed the teachers and his classmates.

Every time I took him to the toilet, the teachers reminded me to wear gloves and wash my hands thoroughly. It was because he had a skin condition. Sometimes his skin would bleed and dried blood would stick to his clothes. This discovery made me feel very sorry for him.

Another moment that deeply touched me was when I witnessed one of his seizures. He needed a long time to recover, lying on the floor until he felt better. During those times, our priority was to ensure his safety. He must have suffered considerable pain, yet he lived joyfully despite his disabilities.

I also observed the deep bond he shared with his mother and how lovingly she cared for him whenever she visited the centre. When she passed away, he was transferred to another facility and from then on, I did not hear any news of him until one night he visited me in my dreams.

He was transformed into a handsome man, well-dressed and smiling at me. When I asked my colleagues about him, they told me that he passed away a few months after his mother died. I felt very sad when I heard this news. But I believe he is at peace now and free from suffering. Bart taught me to explore the meaning of patience and compassion and reminded me that true joy and strength can come from the most unexpected people. Despite his struggles with epilepsy, difficulty speaking and physical limitations, Bart lived each day with a contagious energy that touched everyone around him. His story made me realise that caring for others, especially those with special needs, is not only about patience but also about love and understanding.

There were moments of frustration and exhaustion, but these were also profound lessons in compassion and gratitude. Bart’s simple acts - like offering me a chair - show that kindness doesn’t depend on ability but on the heart’s capacity to love. His joy, even amid pain, taught me a deeper meaning of resilience.

My brief journey with Bart left a lasting impression on my heart, a reminder that every person, regardless of their condition, carries beauty and purpose. His memory inspires me to serve with patience, to find joy in small things and to love beyond limitations.

May he now be enjoying eternal joy, peace and life in paradise with his Creator.

Columban lay missionary Febie Gonzales lives and works in Taiwan.