As we grow old we have to let go of many things, certainly those that require great physical energy, but we can grow spiritually through this letting go - letting be and letting God.
Sr Rita, an Ursuline Sister, spent most of her life cooking for a large number of boarders in schools run by her Order. The time came when she could no longer do this. She let go. She didn’t cling to her treasures. Cooks have treasures in their kitchens, I found out.
Following her retirement from duties in the boarding school, Sr Rita became Co-ordinator of Retreats in the Missionaries of the Sacred Heart Fathers’ Retreat Centre, Douglas Park. After some time, this became too much for her. For a second time, she let go as completely as she had the first time. She then became matron to the small community at the retreat centre, archivist, and adviser on the garden... until the third letting go!
Sr Rita had the freedom, not only to “let go” but to “take up,” quietly and graciously, what seemed to be the need of the moment. Sensing the need of an elderly but active sister, Sr Rita accompanied her for some years on a weekly outing into and around the city. Only months prior to her death, she cared tirelessly and lovingly for her brother who was dying of cancer.
Characteristically, Sr Rita let go of her earthly life in the same quiet, unfussed manner of her living it, dying peacefully in her sleep.
Some years ago, a workshop “Creative and Fulfilling Christian Retirement” was held in Sydney at St Ives Uniting Church. I led one of the electives “Growing Spiritually As We Grow Old.” During my talk I gave the example of Sr Rita.
In the discussion that followed one of the participants pointed out that letting go can have another meaning, namely, letting go of negatives such as resentments. We all immediately saw the importance of this and were grateful to this lady for her contribution. I got to thinking about letting go of negatives and it seems to me that reconciliation could be a big help to us at this stage of our lives in helping us to forgive those who have hurt us or who have had an adverse influence on our lives. I think it’s so important that we do forgive these people.
If we don’t, they will continue to injure us even if they have been dead for years. If we do forgive them we will be freed. Someone said that anger is like taking poison hoping someone else will die. I think this is not universally true.
There is a justifiable and virtuous anger. Jesus was angry when he said, “Alas for you scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You who devour the property of widows, though you make a show of lengthy prayers, the more severe will be the sentence you receive.”
However I think that not forgiving is always like taking poison hoping someone else will die.
Fr Gorman is 87-years-old and living in retirement at St Columban's, Essendon. He worked as a missionary in Japan.
Read Fr Keith Gorman's other Reflections