Francisco and Cecilia found in Columban Leo Donnelly the support they needed.
Francisco and Cecilia are pillars of a small parish community in a new and dusty suburb on the outskirts of Lima. They live in a small house located on an unmade street where the government authorities, after about 20 years since families first came to live in the area, have recently begun to put in water and sewerage pipes. They are welcoming, diligent and loving with their three children and are hard workers. They help their neighbours in need in so far as they can and coordinate the activities of the local church community.
Francisco has worked as a diesel-engine mechanic in the navy for many years and just two years ago, soon before he turned 50 years of age, he retired. He and his wife had done all they could to bring up their children in a healthy and loving way but, all of a sudden, their world fell apart. Their eldest son had become a marijuana addict. They did not know to whom they could turn. They felt that other family members would be judgemental. Cecilia’s parents were dead. Francisco’s father is also dead. He did not want to worry his elderly mother.
Distraught and confused he went in search of Padre Leo Donnelly who had been parish priest in the early days of their parish. He found Leo in the Columban headquarters house and when Leo hugged him, Francisco just sobbed aloud for ten minutes. He could not understand why all this had happened to them.
Cecilia came along too and poured her heart out to Padre Leo. He was like a father to them, firm, gentle and compassionate. With an understanding word and strong hug they were confident that they would always find in him acceptance and compassion. “Who on earth will judge you?” he said. “Don’t be getting upset. Just let the Father act in freedom. Things will work out.” They felt that they could have drowned in despair and Fr Leo was like a life-saver. He stopped them from despairing and they knew they had found someone in whom they could trust.
They gradually began to get on with tackling the issue as a family but did not involve the two younger children. Things have moved on but they know that such matters are never definitively solved or free from further family trauma. Francisco remarked to me, “I now know that no one is immune from anything.
Anything can happen to anyone. One can do everything correctly, so to speak, and still disaster can strike”. Then he continued, “The only response that will work in the face of this kind of thing is love”.
A huge part of their concern was the wherewithal to cover needed medical assistance. Recovery meant weekly meetings with psychologists and social welfare people and if they went ahead it also meant they had to accompany their son at each session, a requirement the hospital authorities demanded. They already knew that this could go on for months. Fares, and medicines had to be included and their relief was patent when Leo assured them he had Columban benefactors who would help and that he was merely a channel for such aid.
Both told me that they already knew all this from their experience of standing by others in their need but the experience of having to deal with it in their own lives radically changed their way of knowing. Their experience of standing by their own son, still fragile and still struggling to find his way, lets them feel the depth of pain that others might be enduring as they face their own family problems. Francisco also said in the course of our conversation, “It’s so important not to judge anyone. I was down and Padre Leo lifted me up. If he had judged me in some way he could have pushed me further into despair and confusion”.
Cecilia commented, “There were times when we used to wonder with our friends in the parish community, ‘what is God preparing us for?’ We never expected this”. They told me that Padre Leo had told the gate keepers at the Columban Centre House, where he lived in retirement, that they should wake him if he was asleep when either Francisco or Cecilia came to see him.
Francisco was happy when Padre Leo turned up at their home for Francisco’s 50th birthday. Here he enjoyed two special dishes* that people from Chiclayo (Francisco’s home city in on the north coast of Peru) delight in.
* Espesado - Mix and grind maize, coriander and kaiwa: (Chenopodium pallidicaule – native Andean vegetable), cook in a pot and serve as a puré, and place a piece of boiled beef on top.
* Ceviche de caballa - (Marinated caballa - a dark fleshed fish from the waters of the Pacific Ocean near Chiclayo): Dice the fish and marinate in lime juice; add peppers and spices according to taste.
Columban Fr Peter Woodruff lives at St Columban's, Essendon.
Read more from The Far East, April 2014